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Burt. Shut that bloody thing up.
Do you know what time it is? Burt!
Burt! You stupid old bastard!
What do you think you're doing?
Sorry George, what did you say?
Do you know what time it is?
I'm sorry, I've got a heck of a lot to get done today.
And you know what they say. "The early bird catches the worm".
Well, if you do this again, one more time, I'm calling the cops.
And how about mowing your lawns?
It's a bloody disgrace to the neighborhood.
Oh, alright.
Hi, kid.
Here we are, the...
perfect recipe...
two of Chevy...
one of Ford.
I think those '36 Chevy pistons...
must have a touch of titanium or something in them.
They come up real good, you know.
Hey the kettle's boiling.
Make yourself useful, make some tea.
Can we have a biscuit too?
- What? - Can I have a Gingernut?
Yeah, you know where they are, help yourself.
Now you stay over there, stay there.
- Right. - What are you doing for Christmas, Burt?
Christmas? I don't know. Why?
Are you angling for a present or something?
- No, I wondered if you were going away. - No...
no time for Christmas, lad. Got a lot of work to do.
I only managed twenty seven test runs this year.
You know, twenty four on the beach and three on the road.
All illegal like.
I was going a bit over the speed limit, I'll have to admit.
- How fast were you going? - I don't know, I haven't a clue.
That's why I have to get up to Bonneville.
Find out how fast she will go.
Now, there you go.
Got to get the piston out of the mould...
and Bob's your uncle.
Right, this is...
the last part of the operation now.
To chill the metal.
It heat treats it. Right, watch yourself.
That's where I got the water for the kettle from.
Well, you know, it gives the tea a nice tang of titanium, doesn't it?
Now this bloke, he once asked me...
"How do you heat treat your pistons?" And I said: "I don't, mate"...
I just, you know, bung them in cold water and Bob's your uncle".
And he said: "Well, that's the heat treatment"...
and he just laughed and shook his head and walked away like.
Well, look this could be the perfect piston.
It blooming well ought to be, I've made hundreds of them.
Look at them all up there, all blown to smithereens.
- You made all those? - Yeah, I did. Look perfect.
Beautiful, no inclusions see?
Now Tommy, does your mother have a carving knife I could borrow?
Carving knife? Yeah?
Yeah. I need a good sharp knife.
Hang on.
- Thomas, what are you up to? - Nothing, Mum.
Can I have some bread and peanut butter?
Ok, but make sure you put everything away when you've finished.
Sorry about that.
Tom.
- Don't forget the wood. - No, Mum.
Right.
I hope to get as much...
rubber off as possible.
It has to be perfectly bald, like that, you see.
- Why's that? - Well, at high speed...
the centrifugal force...
expands the tyre and...
it rubs against the frame of the bike.
Have to be careful not to cut through the cords though.
- Why do you pee on your lemon tree? - What?
Why do you pee on your lemon tree?
- Who says I do that? - Mum says she sees you...
every morning and she goes on and on about it.
Does she?
Well, it's good for it. You shouldn't waste anything in this world, sonny.
- Well, I'd better be off home. - Alright then.
Mum gets a bit cross if I stay over here too long.
She does.
- Are you finished with the knife? - Not yet, I'll drop it by later.
No, don't do that, I'll pick it up after school tomorrow.
Alright.
- Bye. - Cheerio.
- Burt Munro. - Yeah.
I believe you have my carving knife.
- Oh yes. - And my sharpener.
Hang on, here we are.
Well, thanks a lot, love.
G'day Frank. How are you?
Oh not bad, could be better, could be worse.
I see your front tyre's going a bit flat on you there, Burt.
Yeah, well, the good news is, it's only flat on the bottom.
I'll see you tomorrow night for the fun and games.
I�ll be a good one.
Hello, Fran.
- Give us the lot will you? The usual. - One pension check. Coming up.
Fran...
I want to ask you a question, the answer to which is...
a definite yes.
- Alright, Fran? - Alright.
Yes.
What is the question, Burt?
Would you feel inclined to, you know, accompany...
an impeccable young gentleman to a local do tomorrow night?
You're asking me on a date, Burt Munro?
Well, yeah, I suppose I am actually, aren't I?
- Would you? - You're on.
- Hello, son. - Hey, Burt.
That's disgusting.
It is, isn't it?
All dressed up for the do tonight...
and I couldn't get my best shoes on...
because my toe nails had grown like oyster shells.
Alright...
this should do the trick.
There, look at that.
Little twinkle toes.
- Thanks, Burt. - Right on.
- Evening, Burt. - Thank you...
- This is Fran. - Hello, Fran.
Thank you very much.
- Hello, Duncan. - Burt.
Just going to say hello and be back in a second, love, alright?
- How are you? - Bike going well?
Yeah, not too bad.
- Happy birthday, Burt. - Thanks a lot, mate.
This is a bit of a surprise, isn't it?
Would you like to buy a raffle ticket or two?
- What's it for? - Porky the Pig plus two dozen beers.
We're raising money to send Burt to the USA. Our mate, Burt.
Hello. Come on and dance.
- What's this? The twist? - This is the twist. You know the twist?
Come twist with me.
See you can twist.
- That's it, that's it. - This must be it, the atomic invasion.
Then the air clears and the dust settles down.
You look outside, have they leveled the town?
But there, in the yard...
so briskly alive...
stands Burt Munro's trusty...
old Indian Scout '45.
That was a wonderful tribute to Burt.
Now come on Burt, we want you up on stage, come on...
come on, up you come.
I hope all of you have bought a raffle ticket tonight...
because we believe Burt will put the Southland Motorcycle Club...
on the map.
What's going on out there?
Get out of here.
Oh, dear.
Well folks, it looks like I've cracked it, I've um you know.
You Burt Munro?
- What did he say? - I said, are you Burt Munro?
Are you looking for old Burt?
I don't know, anyone seen Burt anywhere?
Anyone seen Burt?
- No, he's... - You are, you're Burt Munro.
You're the old codger, rides the Army Indian right?
That old joker. Burt Munro. Yeah.
Yeah, that's me I think.
Now the, ah, young fella, the army Indian is a real dog...
what I've got is the...
genuine article, the 1920 V twin Scout.
- That's the one with the pedals, right? - Don't put up with that, Burt.
No, well. Well, I don't know what sort of push bikes you monkeys came into town on...
but I know my old timer would trash the backsides of whatever they are.
- I don't think so, granddad. - No.
Well, why don't you chaps put your money where your mouth is?
You're on. You old coot.
- Looks like they've chickened out, Burt. - What?
- Looks like they've chickened out. - They're here.
They're here.
That's nice of them to show up isn't it?
A hundred says the Indian comes last.
Right.
Come on, Burt.
Ready, steady...
go.
Come on, give me a push.
- Come on. - Come on, Burt.
Give me a push. Come on, push hard.
Bugger it.
Come on! Go!
Bugger!
Nice bike, granddad.
Loser.
Thanks, fellas.
- Better luck next time. - Better luck, Burt.
There you go.
- Well, thanks, love. - Careful, it's hot.
Well, at least I gave them a good run for their money.
On the downward leg anyway.
Burt... What's it going to cost to get over to America?
Sorry, love. What did you say?
How much is it gonna cost to get over to America?
I don't know, about two thousand I'm told.
And how much money have you got now?
Apart from today's disaster and the dough from last night and you know...
the pension money I've been saving...
I'm about twelve hundred and 75 dollars, United States dollars, I reckon.
Well, I could lend you some money.
That's very kind of you Fran love, but no. I couldn't do that love. No, thanks.
Well, there must be something you can do.
Well, I haven't told anyone else this, Fran, but...
I don't reckon I'll be gonna Bonneville. I reckon not this year anyway and...
you know, seven hundred dollars is a lot of money to find...
and the boat leaves in five days.
Except I would like to see how fast she would really go...
before I fall off the perch as it were. Before I ah, kicked the old bucket.
Hello, Lloyd.
Gidday, Burt.
Shame about the fall.
Well, I'm still in one piece aren't I?
Good, what are you having tonight?
Specialty of the house, pea, pie and pud.
- That's five bob. - Alright.
Burt? Why don't you take out a mortgage on your house?
- What house? - Well, your property.
I mean it's worth something.
Here you are.
Burt Munro, look at the color of your hands.
- What's the matter with them. - You're gonna wash those mitts...
before you put them anywhere near me.
There we are.
Wakee, wakee.
Time to rise...
and shine.
Burt, you're a sweetie.
Got to get out of here before the neighbors spot me.
Burt, this tastes a bit odd.
It's metallic.
You are my sunshine My only sunshine
Oh, crikey!
What?
I've got a pain in my chest.
He's in the shed, hurry.
Mum, Dad, something's happened to Burt.
Burt, What's wrong with you?
I'll be alright Tommy, don't worry about me.
- Are you sure? - Yeah.
What are you all staring at? Dirty old men need love too.
- Mr Munro. - Hello.
So, What's the story, Doc?
- I'm sorry, it's not good news. - Oh, yeah. Well, fire away.
You've had an attack of angina.
You have arterial sclerosis.
And What's that?
It's a narrowing of the arteries from the heart.
Oh, dear.
Yeah, I'm afraid there's not too much we can do for you at your age...
other than suggesting you take it easy.
Look if you have another attack, pop one of these under your tongue...
let it dissolve and then swallow the saliva.
The pain should be gone in thirty seconds.
- Yeah, what do you call these things? - Trinitrate pills.
Um better known as nitro glycerine.
- The stuff you blow things up with. - Yes, but in much smaller quantities.
Alright.
Will this have any affect on me riding my bike?
Unfortunately, I think your motorcycling days are over.
Like hell they are.
It won't be much longer.
Springfield.
That's where the Indians come from.
- Indians? - Yeah, the Indians...
from Springfield, Massachusetts.
The world's greatest motorcycle.
- Is that so? - That's right.
- You can come through now. - Alright, thank you.
Yeah, Springfield.
The plan is for me to drive up to Timaru and...
then me and my bike... will catch a boat to the US of A to...
Los Angeles, and the boat leaves on Saturday.
And I'll buy a car in Los Angeles...
and drive up to Utah, to the Bonneville Salt Flats.
- It's really important you do this trip? - Sure is mate, you know.
Ever since I was a lad I've been interested in things that go fast...
you know things that rolls and go and...
at Bonneville things go real fast. It's...
this giant dried up lake bed...
and it goes for miles and miles and it's dead flat...
and you can drive a vehicle just as fast as it will go and it's...
So it's one of the few places on earth...
where you can find out just what you're machine is capable of.
In fact here I'm on the, that's me on the front of the New Zealand Motorcyclist.
That's the Indian there.
- Very good! - Yeah, a few years ago.
So I'd best be off soon...
because I don't know how much longer I've got to live you see.
Yes, I don't think I heard that last statement.
I said I don't know how much longer I've got to live.
I heard you the first time.
So... tell me, Burt.
What are you offering as collateral for this loan?
Well, my tools, my bits and pieces, my trophies and a lot of things like this.
Well, I don't think they'd be of much interest to the bank...
I think we'd be looking for something more substantial.
Something like the deed of title to your property.
- Did you get the money? - Yep, I'm off on Thursday.
Thursday? That soon? I wish I could come too.
Oh, maybe next time.
Thomas. It's dinner time. Come home now.
- Nearly finished, Mrs Jackson. - Yeah, Mum, we're almost finished.
See you after dinner, Burt.
Alright, lad.
Hey, not so fast.
I'm the record breaker.
Where are you going?
And that's the...
before I put the... you know, the streamliner on it.
What's that one?
That's a girlfriend of mine when I first bought the bike.
It was a long time ago that was.
Aren't you scared you'll kill yourself if you crash?
No...
you...
live more in five minutes on a bike like this...
going flat out than some people live in a lifetime.
And...
yeah, more in five minutes. That's my Dad there.
And my mum.
They're all gone.
God, it's gone by so fast!
You know, danger is the spice of life...
and you've got to take a risk every now and again haven't you, son?
You know that's what makes life worthwhile.
And you know, having some nice ladies around...
will you pick out my bike?
- You really don't get scared? - No, no.
You know...
when I was a boy about your age...
I had a little twin brother whose name was Ernie...
and one day our Dad was out the back cutting down a tree...
and...
suddenly it got hung up, the tree that is, it got stuck on something and...
Ernie went to go and help. All of a sudden the tree...
slipped and fell on him and killed him stone dead.
I always remember that.
Anyway, since then I've always tried never to be scared of anything.
Although I must say before...
a big bike event I do sometimes get nervous, you know...
if the butterflies in my stomach were cows...
I'd be able to start a dairy farm.
That's funny.
When they took you off in the ambulance to the hospital. What happened?
I don't know, just a touch of indigestion I think.
Yeah, that's all it was. There's nothing wrong with me, don't you worry about me.
And anyway at my age...
any day above ground and vertical is a good day.
Listen, you take care of this until I get back alright?
- What happens if you don't come back? - We'll talk about that then shan't we.
- Hey, Burt? - Yeah.
Don't forget to mow your lawns will you?
- What? - Don't forget to mow your lawns.
My Dad goes on and on about it.
He does, does he?
He says it lowers the property values of the neighborhood.
Well, oh dear, we can't have that can we?
What are you doing?
Hello, son. I'm just getting rid of the grass.
Burt, what the hell are you doing this time?
Oh, like you said George I'm getting rid of the grass...
being a good neighbor before I leave tomorrow.
Tom, Tom! Get back inside now!
Now!
Honestly, Burt!
- What are they doing here? - It might be the fire, Burt.
Right, the tyre goes in first.
That's it.
That's it, Jeff. You've got it.
This goes in here.
Pills...
license, passport.
Right, let's see, I've got everything?
Spectacles, testicles, watch and wallet.
What are you laughing at?
I'm on my way.
- Dad says to call us collect. - What?
Dad says to call us collect.
- That's nice of him. - Tell us how you get on.
Thank you.
That's our phone number.
- Do you think you'll break the record? - Well, I hope so.
Dad doesn't think you can do it.
Is that what he said?
He said everyone thinks that.
Well...
Except me.
You're a good boy, Tom.
I'll tell you something, son.
If you don't follow through on your dreams, you might as well be a vegetable.
What type of vegetable?
I don't know...
A cabbage.
Yeah...
A cabbage.
There you are. Don't lose it, will you?
- I promise I'll look after it. - Right.
So keep an eye on the place for me won't you, Tom.
And...
don't forget to feed the fowls.
- That's my job. - Yeah.
And...
you can give the eggs to Mum and...
what else is there?
Oh, yes...
you can pee on my lemon tree for me if you like, while I'm away.
And there's nothing wrong with peeing on your lemon tree...
as Confucius used to say, it's the best natural fertilizer in the world.
- Who's Confucius? - He's some bloke who lives up in Dunedin.
Thanks for you help, chaps.
- Good luck, Burt. - Thanks, Jeff.
- You show them over there in the States. - I will.
Take it easy, Burt.
That's not one of the things I'm planning on doing, George.
Cheerio, love.
Good luck.
Cheerio, my friend.
If you don't go when you wanna go when you do go, you'll find you're gone.
- I'll see ya. - See ya, Burt.
Bye, Burt.
- Good luck. - Cheerio.
See ya, Burt.
Look at that!
Well, Fran, I'm finally on my way.
I thought some more of the blokes from the club...
would have dropped by to see me off.
Well, they probably had to work today.
Yeah. Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, young Tom tells me...
that no one thinks I can do it.
- Do you think I can do it, Fran? - I don't know, Burt.
I don't think it really matters one way or the other.
You know, I read something once, years ago.
I learnt it off by heart.
It was Theodore Roosevelt said it...
it's not the critic that counts...
not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles...
or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.
Wind your window down! Down.
What?
Some beer money.
- What? - Some beer money.
I don't drink.
Good luck.
- You go well. - Thanks, mate.
Show them Kiwi's can fly.
Yeah, I'll bring you back the Statue of Liberty.
Good on you mate, thanks a lot.
Hey, not so fast!
Crikey!
Take it easy, mate!
I thought it was a goner.
Better get going.
Yeah, alright...
take care of the old jalopy, won't you?
- You look after yourself. - I will.
You've got your pills and everything, right?
Yeah, yeah, right as rain.
- You come back in one piece. - I will, cheerio.
Where's the Captain?
Down below.
- Down the gangway there. - Thanks.
There we are.
I'm looking for the Captain.
That's me.
My name's Burt Munro.
I'm supposed to do a job to work my passage to Los Angeles.
- Yeah, well, I hope you can cook. - Cook?
- I'll give it a go. - There's the galley.
Crikey!
Who does the dishes, mate?
You.
Smells good.
What do you have for us today, Burt?
It's good Kiwi tucker.
Don't let Burt see you doing that.
Here, don't spoil it with all that sauce.
- Sorry, Burt. - Stone the crows!
Are you going to watch the movie, Burt?
- What's that? - Are you going to watch the movie?
- What's it called? - Broken Barrier.
- It's supposed to be good. - Is Jane Russell in it?
There's a spare seat over here, Burt.
Smoke?
- No. Not for me, mate. - You don't smoke Burt?
No, I don't and that's why people say to me...
how do you keep going at your age, Burt...
and I say, well because I don't smoke...
so I'm telling you young monkeys, don't smoke.
You can laugh, but my Dad said...
why contaminate your lungs with tobacco smoke?
The only thing you accomplish with smoking is destroying your lungs...
- and shortening your life. - Kill the lights.
Is Jane Russell in this?
Go well, Burt.
- Thanks, mate. - Not for this.
- Good luck to you, Burt. - Thanks.
Remember what I said. Don't smoke.
I'm trying.
Cheerio, mates. See ya.
Welcome to the United States. Customs to the left.
Thank you, good to be here.
G'day.
Please, stand behind the yellow line until you are called, sir.
What's that?
- Behind the yellow line. - Yellow line?
G'day.
Passport and customs declaration, please sir.
There you are.
How long do you intend to stay in the United States?
However long it takes me to get to Bonneville and back.
And the purpose of your visit?
To set a land speed record on my Indian.
Indian?
Mr Munro...
- So this is your first time to America? - Yes, sir.
You gave some rather odd answers to the Officer...
so we just have a few further questions we'd like to ask you.
- Well, fire away. - Well, let's go over again what you said.
Now what exactly do you intend to do here in the United States?
Well, set a land speed record.
- And how do you intend to do that, sir? - On my motorcycle.
It's in the hold of the ship at the moment and...
they're going to unload it tomorrow. It's an Indian, a 1920 Indian Scout...
modified somewhat.
You know what?
- I think I've read about your bike. - Yeah?
Yeah, it was in Popular Mechanics, a couple of years ago.
That's right, that's me.
A Leslie Hobbs from Christchurch sent that story.
What was it? Fastest motorcycle in Australia?
Yeah, and in New Zealand.
Well, I guess you're legitimate, Mr Munro.
It sounds like we should be very honored to have you here in America.
- Well, thank you. - We're going to give you six months...
that should be time enough to get the job done.
- Welcome to the USA. - Thank you very much.
- Good luck, sir. - Thank you.
- Gears in the trunk. - What?
Bags in the back.
Bag, back!
Don't worry about me, I'll do it myself.
Strewth!
Sit in the back, in the back!
- What? - You, in the back!
Tell you something, mate, you don't want to get old around here.
Ta ra.
- Where to? - What?
- Where to? - Hollywood.
Yeah, I want to go to Hollywood, I want to see the film stars.
Okay, we go to Hollywood.
Where in Hollywood?
A motel on Sunset Boulevard...
I hear that's a pretty great street.
I don't know who you talking to lately. Which motel?
I don't know...
a recommended one.
Come on man, what do you think I am, an encyclopedia?
Drop me somewhere and I'll sort it out myself.
Must have a big electricity bill here.
Firestone...
Shell.
It's all about cars, isn't it? I've never seen so many cars.
- You say something, man? - I said I've never seen so many cars.
Got to get around somehow.
Look, there's a bowling alley. Do you bowl?
What's he honking his horn about?
Jesus! Crikey, did you see that?
That blokes backing into that geaser's car.
He's crazy, he's nuts.
He did it again.
Don't stare, there's a lot of crazy people in this town.
I've never seen anything like that before.
- This should do... - What's the damage?
$28, plus bag...
- $29. - What?
Did you just say what I thought you said?
- Are you deaf? - What?
- Are you deaf? - Yeah, I am a bit deaf, but I'm not stupid.
- How much did you say it was? - $29.
No, I don't want to buy the cab, mate. I just want to pay the fare, that's all.
- Where you from? - What?
- You a British? - No, you must be joking...
I'm no Pommie, I'm from New Zealand.
Well, this is America.
And the fare, right there on the meter, $29.
Open your wallet and let the moths out.
I'm doing it, I'm doing it.
There you go, $29.
- No, don't forget the tip. - What?
Yes, we tip in America.
Ten percent.
- How much? - Ten percent.
Oh yeah, there you go, ten cents.
Excuse me, sir.
- You look like a generous man, sir. - What?
- You look like a generous man. - Oh do I?
Yes you do. Would you like to buy a flower to give to someone special?
Well, sorry I don't have any cash.
Don't worry, the money goes to a good cause.
It's for an organization that helps needy people.
Oh alright, well, how much is it?
- Just give what you can afford. - Alright, well.
They all look the same to me. They're all green.
- Yes, that's why we call them green backs. - That looks like a one.
- Look there's one. - No, that's a ten.
- Thanks, you have a good day. - No, that's a ten.
Hey come on miss, that's a ten.
I didn't want to pay that much.
Hey, come back.
- Hey baby. - What do you want?
- You wanna go? - Go where?
- Go inside. - I'm going inside.
I'll take you around the world.
I've just come from halfway around the world.
15 bucks, baby.
15 bucks.
No, sorry, go away.
Hello.
- I need a room. - A room will cost you five bucks an hour.
I'm planning on staying a wee bit longer than that.
- How long? - I don't know, a couple of days I guess.
- Double occupancy? - What?
Double occupancy?
No, just me, myself and I.
Will it cost a lot because I can't afford a lot.
- You a member of Triple A? - What?
- Are you a Triple A member? - Never heard of them.
Never heard of Triple A?
No Miss Brittle Britches, I have not heard of Triple A.
Okay, let's just say you are a member doll.
- Alright. - That'll save you ten percent.
How does 22 bucks a night sound?
That much? Is that cheap?
Honey, that's cheaper than cheap.
- What's your name? - Tina Washington.
Well, Tina Washington,
I want you to have this, it might cheer you up a bit.
Get some of that muck off your pluck.
Well, thank you.
That's the first nice thing that's happened round here all week.
You're welcome.
My name's Burt Munro. From New Zealand.
I'm from down under.
Well, hello, Burt Munro from New Zealand down under.
I tell you, I've had a heck of a night.
Welcome to Hollyweird.
Hello?
Anybody home?
- Hello, Tina. - Good morning, Burt.
You still here?
That's why you were so crabby last night.
Don't you ever get any sleep?
I work a night shift.
I'm out of here as soon as James turns up and he's late.
Yeah, could you phone this number for me?
Yeah, it's a shipping company and they've got a big box of mine...
and I want to know how to arrange to get it.
No, you talk to them, they'll never get my accent.
Okay, what do you want me to ask them? One moment please.
Ask them when a Burt Munro's box containing the motorcycle...
will be ready for pick up.
Hello, I'm calling for Mr Burt Munro.
Yes, he'd like to know when the box containing his motorcycle...
- will be available for pick up. - What ship?
- Rangatira from New Zealand.
The Rangatira from New Zealand.
- It's arrived. - So he can claim it?
Tomorrow from the Long Beach customs holding area.
Okay, thank you, I'll tell him. Bye-bye.
That was pretty fast.
You're late.
I can't stand another minute in this place. Let me buy you breakfast.
Well, this is great.
You know, I've never seen a menu with photographs before.
- Are you ready to order, sir? - What?
- Are you ready? - Oh yes...
I think the Double Delight, that's for me.
- How would you like your eggs? - What?
How would you like your eggs?
Well, I'd like them cooked.
Sunny side up? Over easy?
- I don't know, whatever you recommend. - Over easy's best.
Alright, eggs over easy.
Make that two.
Over easy. I must remember that.
Yeah, I like this American breakfast thing.
It's good.
So my girl, where's the best place for me to get a used car?
The Valley.
After breakfast I could take you there.
Oh Well, thank you.
And I'm not a girl.
I'm a boy.
I thought there was something a little odd about you.
But hey, you're still a sweetheart.
Yep.
Thanks a million, Tina.
Hey, there are stacks of cars here.
- I'll be back in the motel later on. - Bye.
Bye.
How may I help you, sir?
Yeah, I want to buy a car, a cheap car, a very cheap car.
Well, you've come to the right place, amigo.
In fact, if you can find cars like this any cheaper, they're probably stolen.
My name's Burt, Burt Munro from New Zealand. Nice to meet you.
I'm Fernando from El Salvador, nice to meet you, Mr Munro.
- You can call me Burt. - Alright, Mr Burt.
So how much were you looking to spend here Mr Burt?
Not a lot Fernando...
I haven't got much left after the cab ride I took yesterday.
You want $399 for this?
It sounds a bit sick.
Well, what would you offer me?
Listen, I'll give you $200 if you'll do me a favor.
Through in the use of your workshop...
and some of that junk I see lying around...
I've got to knock up a trailer...
to drag my bike over to Bonneville.
That's not a favor, $325 is a favor.
No, $225.
You're a tough customer, Mr Burt, but I like you...
I'm going to give it to you for $250 and you can use the workshop...
but only at night and keep the noise down.
What about tonight?
Yeah, yeah, tonight's ok.
Stop the car, let's get this thing running properly.
There that sounds better.
- Let me drive. - Okay, come on.
She's singing like a bird now.
Oh, she's a good old girl, isn't she?
There we are, alright.
- You make a left here, Mr Burt. - Alright.
The buggers are in the wrong lane.
Stop the car, stop the car.
Turn, turn, this way.
Stop, stop the car.
Keep your shirt on.
- Scoot over, you stupid old bastard. - Thought I was back in New Zealand...
we drive on the other side of the road over there.
Yeah? You're going to get us all killed.
Well, you're not in New Zealand, you're in America.
- I know it. - We drive on the right side of the road.
Burt. Let me give you some advice.
When you're driving, not only here in America...
but anywhere's around the world...
the driver should always be in the centre of the road.
In the centre. If you're not in the centre...
you're on the wrong side of the road. Okay?
You want this right here?
That's it.
Yeah, good.
Got it.
It's 3 a.m. in the morning.
Yeah, time flies when you're having fun, doesn't it?
You know, when I told you that you could use the workshop at night...
I didn't mean all night. My wife's gonna kill me.
You take yourself off home and I'll have a snooze...
in the back of the car and you know, mate...
I'll lock up the place before I go to sleep.
Seems to me a whole lot of effort to sell a lousy $250 motorcar.
Okay, Mr Burt, you pull the door down. Have a good night.
Fernando. Where do I take a leak around here?
- Leak? - Yeah, a pee...
trouble with the old prostrate, you know.
Yeah, go straight through those doors, there's a door there that says Caballero...
Alright.
Well, I'll see you in the morning, early okay?
Good night.
Where were we?
Burt?
Good morning, Mr Burt.
- So did you get it all finished? - Yeah.
All I need to do is find a couple of wheels and I'll be ready to roll.
Well, you know, I have some wheels in the back you can have...
- if you just do me a favor. - Say the word.
Crank her now, Fernando.
Good.
- Burt? - Yeah?
You're a god damned genius.
Thank you.
Hey listen, why you gotta go?
Why don't you stick around here a while? I'll pay you well.
Sorry, mate, I've got to get to Bonneville by the 23rd...
that's when speed week starts and you know, gotta hit the road.
- Well, you've always got a job here. - Thanks mate, I'll see ya.
- Best of luck to you. - Ta ra.
This guy is really good.
Hello, love.
I was worried about you.
Housekeeping said you didn't sleep in your bed all night.
Do I get a discount for that?
I doubt it.
I need you to show me on a map how to get to Long Beach...
- so I can pick up my bike today. - I'm finished here in 15 minutes.
I'll come with you.
Not a bad set of wheels for 250 bucks eh?
- You sure it'll make it to Utah? - Yeah.
This old girl will get you to New Zealand and back.
Here...
- Hop in my fair, lady. - Thank you.
The bloke who sold me this car, he gave me a good tip...
he said always remember that the driver, that's me...
should be on the centre of the road.
- Look out, look out! - Alright.
In New Zealand we always drive on the other side of the street.
- You do? - Yeah, sorry about that.
Do you want me to drive?
No, it's alright, I have to get used to it, haven't I?
This should be customs right here.
Right.
- Hello. - May I help you, sir?
Yeah, my name's Burt Munro and I've come to pick up my motorcycle...
I came into port two days ago from New Zealand...
and on a freighter called Rangatira...
and I was told to come here to clear it through customs.
- Mr Munro. - Yeah, Munro...
M U N R O.
- Wait here a moment, sir. - Thank you.
Mr Munro is here for that damaged shipment.
- Mr Moonro. - Munro.
- Come with me please, to the storage area. - Is there a problem?
Your consignment has suffered some damage.
Oh, no.
Why the heck did I bother to paint these arrows on the side of it then?
That's the way it was delivered here unfortunately.
Well, what happened to it?
My information is that ten tons of fertilizer...
was inadvertently loaded on top of your box...
while it was in the hold. If I was you I'd sue the shipping company.
Sue? I haven't got time to waste my bloomin' life suing anybody.
Get some of your blokes to pull...
this right side up so we can get into the motorcycle...
and see what damage has been done.
Alright, fellows, let's get it unwrapped.
The tail looks alright.
No damage so far.
Oh no damage at all.
Good.
- Lucky it was packed so well. - Yes, it's a blimmin' miracle.
Well, the old Indian lives to fight another day.
Well, thanks a million, Tina.
I don't know what I would have done without you today...
you're the real salt of the earth, you know?
Are you sure you wouldn't like to come home for dinner tonight?
- I can't, love. - I could cook you a meal.
I've got to get this show on the road, get out of Dodge as they say.
Okay, my good friend from Kiwi land.
- You stay in touch, won't you? - I will.
Here's my phone number.
- Call me and tell me how you're doing. - I will. Can I call collect?
You can try.
- It's a good job I think you're a woman. - I am a woman.
Yeah, right. Ta ra love, see ya.
- Morning. - Morning.
Fill her up, would you please?
Regular or Ethol?
Who's Ethol?
Alright...
I'll take Ethol.
- Hello, young fella. - Hello.
- Is this a rocket ship? - What?
Is this a rocket ship?
I hope so.
Oh Gosh.
What's happened to you?
Oh well.
Let's have a look at ya.
Got ya!
Come on!
I thought we were going to make it you and me...
and now look what's happened.
- Hello, mate. - Got a problem?
Yeah. Am I glad to see you.
Yeah, I've lost a wheel, help me get my rig back on the road, will you?
Okay, I'll see.
My name's Burt, Burt Munro.
Jake.
- You Indian? - Yes.
Well, this here could be the world's fastest Indian.
Well, at least until just now.
She's a bit heavy mind you.
So let's take it easy, one, two, three.
Right. You live around here, Jake?
What do you want to ride that contraption for?
That's a good question.
Well, I guess the reward is in the doing of it.
Jake, I'm dying for a pee. Where do I go?
I've got a touch of prostrate trouble now.
I have similar problems.
I thought you blokes would have...
some magic cures for that sort of thing.
Well, we have.
One old remedy is ground up dog balls...
- but I prefer prostrate trouble. - Yeah, I bet you do, mate.
I got you!
Jake, gotta get going, gotta hit the road.
- Burt, I have something for you. - What's that then?
What's this?
- For good luck. - Oh yeah?
I've never worn jewellery before. Thanks, mate.
I've got something for you too, hang on about.
Right...
let's see.
I've got this, it's a spare one, I made it myself.
- What do I do with this? - You got a hacksaw?
Just slice the top of it, through where the gudgeon pin goes...
and it'll make a great ash tray.
Not that I approve of smoking, mind you.
- Thank you very much. - Thanks a lot, mate. So long.
- Sorry we couldn't fix your trailer. - That's alright, I'll get there somehow.
Burt?
What?
For the prostrate.
Use with water, plenty of water.
It tastes bad. Really bad.
Dogs balls huh?
Well, thanks a lot mate. See ya.